still too high...

well, i went to the doctor today (the last appt i was told to track my BP with an at home monitor and report back) and i was told that my BP is too high still. they put me on beta blockers to try and help control it. somethings gotta give, i am only 24 and didn't think i would have to be dealing with this stuff for at least another 20 years.

i think what scares me the most is that i may have to be on these meds forever :-( the pharmacy tech told me that i need to make sure that i don't just stop taking the meds or run out because if i miss it, my BP could sky rocket and i could have a stroke. a freakin stroke...i still cannot believe that i am having to deal with this NOW.

monday i have another appt (i have 2 next week) for blood work and to talk to the doctor again.

what do i think is causing this?
- the stresses of having 2 newborns at home (losing sleep, screaming, being stuck at home all the time, and just taking care of them in general)
- the stress of trying to finish my certification (ugh my re-take is Thursday)
- trying to find a freakin place to live
- trying to figure out if we can make it on just my income (i pay markhas insurance but no daycare) or trying to work out a schedule where we can both work (and i probably have to pay daycare Eeeek! or try and figure out how we can arrange the schedule to not have to have it)
- my oldest going through his terrible 3's and dealing with the road blocks of potty training
- trying to continue nursing the Peanuts (stupid IUD is giving me problems producing)
- not having a job stinks...its hard to have to stay at home everyday working my butt off with no pay check (besides the glory of being BLESSED with spending every moment with my kiddos...essentially what i wanted)
- i think all in all i need a real break...a vacation or something

i probably missed like 10 things but sitting here thinking about is probably boiling my blood now lol



another issue (may not be helping the situation) is trying to find a place to move to in ONE MONTH! Eeeeek! i signed my contract to teach in Shiner and now we are house hunting. we prefer not to buy our first year but it seems that the second a rental property pops up, its snagged before we even get the chance to pick up the phone. i guess i am stressing out WAY too much. but what happens if we have to buy. ok, i can deal with that but how long does it take to close on a house. we need to move the last weekend in July (at the LATEST) that gives us like zero time AND to top all things off, we live almost 2 hours away and its not like we can just drive by to look at a house or anything.

*sigh*

why the heck am i up? B ate at 2:30 and i thought that M would be up to eat shortly after...to my surprise...NOT. now i know as soon as i fall asleep, she is going to wake up to eat. shes got about an hour until its 'time' before i will wake her up to feed her. maybe i will try to sleep...maybe not. i will probably just continue to scour the internet looking for a house.


well, vent OVER! thank you.


have a BLESSED day everyone! *MUAH*